...death becomes clear through bloodshot eyes...

Song of the Day: "Blew" - Nirvana

Wow, it's been a while since I've reported in.

I got home from Dallas a couple hours ago. I unpacked, took a shower, and then had to re-install Norton Anit-Virus. Apparently, I've got some viruses on my compy that it wasn't alerting me to.

This trip to Dallas was a good one. Much better than I expected, but now my dad understands why I hated it there so much.

I did a track for the "Elimination" DVD for the menu. However, I liked the start of it so I'm gonna try to make a full track of it.

Otherwise, that's really about it. Sorry for the lameness, but thus is the life of a travelling pot salesman.

Song of the Day: "Weeping Wounds" - Brainshift

*Edit*: Get the damn song!

I should be asleep by now.

I can't stop watching the "Elimination" dvd.

@Hiz: I don't know if you remember telling me how I should do a song similiar to "At The Heart of It All", but I gave it a shot. It started out pretty well, but then evolved into something totally different. Hence, your song of the day.

@Nix: The whacked out song I was telling you about is the S.O.T.D.

I tried sending it to you both, but I guess the file size was too big. After all, it's an 8 minute song.

Otherwise, that's about all I have for you.

Song of the Day: "Brains Out" - Error

"It's like... even when we win, he wins..."

Well, it's now officially Tuesday. This trip hasn't gone as bad as I thought it would've, being with my parents and all. However, some strange shit has happened since we've been here.

Keep in mind we're in a Sheraton, which is a nice hotel chain.

1. My parents and I are on the top (thirteenth) floor. On Saturday night there were four people on our floor that were running around in the hall; knocking on doors, screaming as loud as they could, leaving trash in the halls, setting off the fire extinguishers, and kicking out windows.

2. On Sunday, the meeting room we were in was next to some hispanic meeting/party. Because they were so loud and inconsiderate, we had to move into the basement of the hotel.

I know that doesn't sound like much, but if you'd been here I think you'd understand.

Oh yeah, we spent $400 in the bar last night for the five of us. I'm not trying to brag, but I just thought that was insane. That's about $80 a person for what we were drinking, which was mainly beer.

Being with people twice my age on this trip makes me realize what I'm in for 20 years from now: A life of blindness and forgetfulness. It almost makes me wish the average lifespan were 30 years.

But at the rate we're going, I'm not that far off.

Song of the Day: "Homicide" - Error

@Q: Love the strip man! Maybe you should think of turning pro.

@Nix: I'm glad you liked the shit I did. I just hope that one of your shorts gets picked.

Hello from Dallas, TX. I'm here with my parents, Tony and TJ.

The fun just never stops.

I finally had the opportunity to see "Saw". The only word I have for it is "wow".

Otherwise, there isn't much of anything to report. Maybe I'll have something more interesting to talk about tomorrow.

Song of the Day: "Apple Of Sodom" - Marilyn Manson

Dream sequence:

For whatever reason, I'm masturbating Goldielocks while feeding honey-wheat pretzel sticks to the three bears.

Song of the Day: "Eye" - Smashing Pumpkins

This entry is of a serious nature. Haven't had one of these in a while. Just a warning.

Hello again.

Here it is, Friday morning, and I can't sleep. Normally, I'd be playing Ratchet & Clank 2 right about now, but for some reason I just don't feel like it. I haven't felt like doing much lately.

For the last couple of days my mom has been asking me if I need "help". Based on a phone conversation we had, she doesn't think that I'm happy.

Thanks for tuning in mom. For the last ten years I haven't been "happy".

My dad finds it hard to believe I can be such a negative person. For whatever reason he remembers me being quite positive.

I guess I just gave up on the facade.

Is there something wrong with me? I know so. What is it? I'm not sure yet. Do I need "help"? I suppose that's up for debate. I haven't physically hurt myself or any others around me. Sometimes though, it gets hard. Hard to keep from reaching up and squeezing the last breath out of a person; to keep from ripping their eyes out with my own hands. I don't know how many times I've had to suppress the urge to stab someone during my demo while talking about the cutlery. I know that sounds funny when you think about it, but it's really not.

I'm numb to a lot of things now. The only thing I seem to be able to feel is "anger". I feel very distant when I'm around people.

How did I grow to become like this?