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Whining And Complaining
This applies to EVERYONE: I started this thing to put down how I feel about things at a certain time. When I want to talk, but feel like I can't. It's really just that simple. If you don't like it, I'm sorry. I'm not out to make anyone feel like they're being put down. If you feel that way, there must be some truth in what I'm saying.
4/28/2004
I haven't really felt right all day today. I've been in something of a funk. I haven't really felt like dealing with anyone today. My heart feels heavy, and I seem to be easily agitated.
I got up this afternoon, and I suppose I felt alright, but when I got out of bed, I started cleaning up around the house. Amanda played on the computer until I was about done with everything, then asks if I need help with anything. She didn't know, and I didn't ask her for help, but it still kinda made me mad. I'm strange like that. What I mean by that is: she practically lives here, doesn't pay for anything, and doesn't really do anything to help out. I will be the first to admit that I am a lazy fuck, but I can afford to do that in my own home. I say all this, and then the next time she asks if she can help with something, I tell her no. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
My eyes feel like they're gonna burst into flames, but I know the instant I go to lay down, I'm gonna be up again. The odd thing of this sleep issue recently has been that once I do fall asleep, I'm getting about eight hours before I wake up but I'm still waking up exhausted, almost as if I hadn't slept at all. Maybe the Portland trip took a little more out of me than I thought. Or maybe I'm just dying. Either way, I'm still here for now.
Joe and Dave came over tonight. The four of us (Amanda, Joe, Dave, and I) went to Wal-Mart for a late-night "something to do", and the only real funny highlight of the night was that Joe bought a bag of Jack Links Beef Steak Nuggets. He opened the bag in Dave's car, and it smelled like a 1,000 camels had shit and died. Cracking the windows only seemed to make it worse.
I just realized how much mindless nonsense I write in this damn thing. I've got a headache, and feel like I want to have sex, but at the same time I almost know I don't want to. I know that sounds odd. Just about every other word out of my mouth is something stupid.
I'm feeling very angry, yet unattached right now. I think I need something to drink. I also think that my head is moving 5 miles a minute right now, so this entry ends here.
I got up this afternoon, and I suppose I felt alright, but when I got out of bed, I started cleaning up around the house. Amanda played on the computer until I was about done with everything, then asks if I need help with anything. She didn't know, and I didn't ask her for help, but it still kinda made me mad. I'm strange like that. What I mean by that is: she practically lives here, doesn't pay for anything, and doesn't really do anything to help out. I will be the first to admit that I am a lazy fuck, but I can afford to do that in my own home. I say all this, and then the next time she asks if she can help with something, I tell her no. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
My eyes feel like they're gonna burst into flames, but I know the instant I go to lay down, I'm gonna be up again. The odd thing of this sleep issue recently has been that once I do fall asleep, I'm getting about eight hours before I wake up but I'm still waking up exhausted, almost as if I hadn't slept at all. Maybe the Portland trip took a little more out of me than I thought. Or maybe I'm just dying. Either way, I'm still here for now.
Joe and Dave came over tonight. The four of us (Amanda, Joe, Dave, and I) went to Wal-Mart for a late-night "something to do", and the only real funny highlight of the night was that Joe bought a bag of Jack Links Beef Steak Nuggets. He opened the bag in Dave's car, and it smelled like a 1,000 camels had shit and died. Cracking the windows only seemed to make it worse.
I just realized how much mindless nonsense I write in this damn thing. I've got a headache, and feel like I want to have sex, but at the same time I almost know I don't want to. I know that sounds odd. Just about every other word out of my mouth is something stupid.
I'm feeling very angry, yet unattached right now. I think I need something to drink. I also think that my head is moving 5 miles a minute right now, so this entry ends here.
